


Six Minutes

by FreshBrains



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, Dialogue Heavy, E-mail, Gen, Humor, Mystery, Speculation, Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 19:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3220817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshBrains/pseuds/FreshBrains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What’s this about the Captain leaving early?” Terry came into the room swiping furiously at his phone, the tiny appliance dwarfed in his hands.  “He leaves at 6:10 on Friday nights.  Something must be wrong.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> For the Small Fandoms Fest prompt: _Brooklyn Nine-Nine (tv), Captain Holt/Kevin, a quiet evening at home._

**Raymond Holt**

**Fri 1/25/2015 5:45pm**

**To: Recipient List (99 th Precinct Detectives and Administation)**

 

_To whom it may concern,_

_I will be going home at 6:04 instead of 6:10 tonight because my husband and I are having a quiet evening in.  The extra six minutes are undeniably necessary for this event.  I’m sure you will all understand._

_Captain Raymond Holt_

 

“Why does he start with ‘to whom it may concern’?” Jake leaned back in his chair towards Amy, who was reading the same e-mail.  “He knows us.  He can see us from his office.” 

“It’s professional,” Amy chided, quickly typing a confirmation e-mail.  “He just wants to keep us in the know about what’s going on in the precinct.”

“What’s this about the Captain leaving early?” Terry came into the room swiping furiously at his phone, the tiny appliance dwarfed in his hands.  “He leaves at 6:10 on Friday nights.  Something must be wrong.”

“It’s his quiet night with Kevin,” Amy said, apples of her cheeks pink.  “It’s so romantic.  We should support him, you guys.  Especially Jake—last week you took Sophia to the Pizza Hut in the mall for a date.”

“Yeah, a quiet night in sounds like a riot,” Jake said, yawning and checking the clock for the hundredth time and pointedly ignoring Amy.  “A quiet night in is something you do when nobody wants to have a loud night out with you.”  He pointed at Gina from across the room and said, “By the way, we still on for Buffalo Wings Foam Party tonight?”

“Hells to the yeah,” Gina responded without looking up from her phone.

“Maybe _that’s_ the Captain and Kevin’s quiet night activity,” Charles supplied good-naturedly.  “They like to keep things fun on the weekends without compromising their professionalism.”

“Somehow I don’t think the Captain and Mr. Captain eat buffalo wings while grinding barefoot on a dance-floor full of soap bubbles,” Jake said, though he was obviously already deep in thought, the rest of their Friday afternoon’s work derailed.  “I’m betting they put on their casual three-piece suits and go to the opera.  On a yacht!”

“Oh, please,” Amy said, rolling her eyes.  “Just because they’re two extremely well-read, intelligent gay men doesn’t mean they’re stuffy.  They’re probably seeing a movie—the new food industry documentary is my guess—and then going to watch the barges come into the harbor.” She grinned towards the Captain’s office.  “That’s the perfect night.”

“But that’s a night _out_ ,” Terry said, leaning against Jake’s desk.  “Come on, you’re a bunch of detectives.  Give me something I can work with here.  What the hell do you even do in your own house on a Friday night?”

“I’m betting Holt is like some sort of wild animal once he’s alone with his man,” Gina mused, staring off into space.  “They’ll probably make sweet love until the morning sun and he needs to leave early to listen to some slow jams in his car beforehand.”

Terry turned to Boyle before Gina could elaborate.  “Any ideas?”

“There’s a new Thai take-out restaurant a few blocks away from the Captain’s neighborhood.  Maybe they’re getting an order of the green curry lamb balls I reviewed on Rate-My-Meat.”

“How did you even find that website?  You know what, never mind.”  Jake kicked his feet up on his desk and lowered his voice.  “The Captain and Kevin are obviously top-secret spies who need to reconvene at a secret location once a week to go over their itinerary and make sure there are no holes in their air-tight aliases.”

“Obviously,” Terry said dryly, rubbing his temples.  “I just don’t get why he’s leaving early.”

“ _What’s In Our Sandwiches_ starts at 6:20,” Amy said triumphantly.  “They need to get there in time to get tickets.”

“Sudarat’s opens at six and they’re a popular place right now,” Boyle added.

“Their secret meeting location is not yet secure,” Jake said darkly, already wondering how he could become their mole if they needed one—not that he wanted to betray America, but come on, a spy ring?  Life goals.

“Time can’t stop, even for Ginuwine,” Gina said sagely.  “And then there’s supplies.  Of a sexual nature.”

“Okay, dummies, I got it,” Rosa said, swiveling around in her desk chair like a bad movie villain.  “Scrabble.  Three episodes _Downton Abbey_.  Gourmet microwave popcorn.  Light cuddling.  Bed by nine.”

Everyone blinked, believing her but disappointed at such a bland suggestion. 

“But that doesn’t explain the leaving early,” Jake whined.

“Captain Holt likes to buy a bottle of wine at the liquor store across town because it’s Kevin’s favorite, and Kevin leaves the office at the same time.  The Captain likes to get home before him to surprise him with it.” 

“How do you even know this?  Wait, are _you_ their mole?” Jake looked at Rosa in a whole new light.

She shrugged, turning back around in her chair.  “I spent the night last Friday.  Marcus was visiting again.”

“That’s still pretty romantic,” Amy said with a smile, packing up her briefcase.

“By that you mean _boring_ ,” Jake said, crossing his arms in disappointment.  “I mean, this doesn’t mean they’re not spies, I guess.  I’m still holding out.”

“Are you all aware that my door is open and I can hear your conversation?” Captain Holt stood in the doorway of his office, coat draped over his arm, lights turned out.  “I am leaving now.  I have an important errand.” He gave Rosa a glance, face betraying no emotion.  “And it is _not_ at the liquor store this time.”

Rosa’s face dropped and Jake’s lit up in a wide smile.  “God bless America, right, Captain?”

Holt blinked.  “Yes. Indeed.”  He walked out of the precinct, shrugging on his coat.

“Okay, we’re back to square one,” Rosa said, scowling.  “Let’s go to the conference room.”

“I have to pick up my baby girls,” Terry said, “but call me later with results.”

“Will do,” Jake said, leading the way to the conference room.  “God, I love my job.”


End file.
